I have definitely made a MASSIVE mistake coming here, back to Japan. All those years of running, of pretending. And what for? Nothing but a whole lot of pain. I'm an idiot. A huge fucking idiot.
I need to find my own place. I need to get away from this for a while so I can just THINK for once. I need to decide what the hell I'm going to do about the huge fuck up I've made and the problems I've caused.
Oh wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. It was a mistake coming here!! A HUGE mistake! I can't believe I was stupid enough to follow Cloud home. I can't believe he's here.
Well... I guess instead of moping around his apartment I should get a job. Even if its just in the store down the street.
I can't help but wonder if Seph is around as well... part of me really hopes so and yet... I know I'll fuck things up even more if I see him. ~sigh~
Wow, its been so long since I've been back in Japan!! I'm probably making a mistake by coming back, there's a big chance that I'll run into someone who recognises me, but I don't plan on being here for long. I was just getting a bit homesick, s'all.
Unfortunately, I only have a little cash since I spent most of what I had on the flight here. So first port of call is finding somewhere to earn a little cash so I can keep moving. If I stay here too long, there might be trouble.
I think most of the reason I came here is because of those dreams I've been having more and more recently. I think part of me wants to see them again... Yes. That's it. Part of me wants to see them again and apologise for all the stupid mistakes I've made and at least let them know I'm not really dead. That's not going to happen though. It can't.
I'm tired and I need to find somewhere cheap to sleep tonight, or else I'll be sleeping in the airport...
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gongaga_puppy's journal
melancholy
stressed
sleepy